Tim Inge (sausagetree) wrote,
Tim Inge

Three months in

In just one week I'll be able to hold my head high and claim the honorable title of "trash man." Seven short days and I will stand tall among the few in this country who are man enough for the job. On October 14th, according to Waste Management, I'll be through my probation period and I'll have officially "made it."
You see, if any person manages to flatten a garage, obliterate someone's lawn gnomes, run over a pet, or do any other minor or significant damage with their truck or related equipment, the are immediatly fired without question (even if it's not their fault) and they will be deemed unworthy.
How could one be deemed unworthy to be a trash man, you ask? Most people don't give much thought to the task of trashing. I didn't. You go around and pick up trash, how hard can it be? In all honesty, that's pretty much it, but the task is greuling, the hours are long, the mornings are early, and the equipment is heavy and made of unyielding steel.
The driving is considered some of the most intense professional driving out there. There's so much truck to keep track of, it's amazing how quickly a corner of it can suddenly become intimately aquainted with a car or a house, esspecially since a large amount of the driving is done backwards.
It also turns out to be a fairly dangerous job. The death toll in Waste Management for 2007 (so far) is 23 employees and 16 civilians. The good thing is, if I die on the job, I'll be known all over the country. Tens of thousands will hear my name read aloud, as WM holds me up as a shining example of why one should NEVER disregard rule 638.56-D
Personally, I'm rather enjoying it. I've got my CDL and I've been trashing on my own for a coupe of weeks now. My truck (308436 to the company, but I call her Laverne) is treating me well so far. I'm down to 168 lbs and the six-pack is thinking about making an appearance for the first time in my life. Unfotunately I landed myself in the lowest-paying hardest-working crew in the state, but I'm not greedy, and living in Salida rather than Grand Junction or Denver more than makes up for that minor flaw.
I just sat here for 3 minutes trying to come up with a conclusion to all this. There isn't one. I'm out of school, and this isn't being graded. Three minutes wasted.
Speaking of school, what's with all those people who, when a kid complains about school and homework, are always there to further their discouragement and negative outlook on life with, "Oh just wait 'til your grown! You'll be thinking of how easy you had it back when all you had to worry about was school and homework." I never believed that as a kid, and it turns out I was right. School sucked. School is basically the same as going to work except you don't have a choice about what you want to do, and you're not getting paid.
Homework is downright immoral, and I belive that with the entirety or my soul. If I ever have kids they aren't doing homework at all ever, period.
Pile adolescnet insecurity on top of that and it's amazing that some of those kids turn out to be decent adults, and not surprizing at all that most of them turn into surplus. Adolescent insecurity was no party. I guess we all have to go through it, and mine was probably easier than most, but I'm still glad it's long over. Drinking root beer and playing video games is much more fun than sitting around trying to figure myself out.
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